Teacher's Pet (Peeves)

Today's student tip of the day:

Many students feel (erroneously) that some form of communication with the teacher is better than complete anonymity. I understand that this sort of thing works for people like Lauren Conrad, Amy Winehouse and Rush Limbaugh, but given that you probably don't stand to make several million dollars in libel lawsuits or from photos taken of you snorting coke with your kitten, negative attention in your case might actually result in a net loss.

When you send me emails that ask about course logistics, you are wasting a big, expensive resource (my brain). Instead, why not check that slick 13" silicone brain you insist on bringing to class? I know how consuming it is to watch Ashton Kutcher catching Hollywood intelligentsia off-guard by putting muffin tins in their underwear drawers, but that's why your laptop has multiple tabs on its browsers: so you can check the course website without missing the hilarity that ensues when Bruce Willis fumbles to strap a muffin tin to his backside.

When you do have a real question of substance, try to send it to me without making it clear that you're only interested in the correct answer (i.e., as opposed to the underlying concept). E.g., questions or issues prefaced with "I really want to understand..." or "I find it fascinating that" are better than "I really want a good grade." The following is an example of an excellent and relevant question:

"Dear Teacher,

I was recently reading the article you assigned on flying patterns of conchords. In the assigned questions, you asked us to describe body morphology that might affect flying speed. You listed as examples wingspan, torso length and sugalumps, but I can't find any information on sugalumps. Some brief research on the internet indicates that sugalumps only affect male conchords. Is your question about all conchords or just males? I am doing my honors project on the links between skin elasticity and flexibility and am fascinated by the constraints of morphology.

Thank you,

Student Etiquettious"

And here is an example of a bad question:

"yO. I don't get what U want from the Q on sugalumps. I need to get a good grade in this class so if you could explain it better, the question wouldn't be so badly worded."

Questions? Comments? OMG - I just saw that, too. His ass has muffin indents on it!! Hahahahaha!

I never want to leave you without a photo, so, speaking of interesting underwear, here is a recent photo of Vodka.

From Blockhead to Bloghead

I wasn’t always such a crochety [sic] pinster [ditto]. In fact, back in my heyday, I was quite the baller. Nary a fellow managed to pin me down. Nor can I say that I was a stranger to casting off. As the old yarns about me got worsted and worsted, I decided it was time to change my pursewts. I’ve long since abandoned my extremist ways and am proud to say that I now exclusively pull from the center. Wound a little tight? Yes, but at least it’s consistent. I rarely get knotted up over anything anymore.

OK - no more puns (on to parentheses!). This blog is mostly about my transition from cerebral to sartorial (left to left?), from crafty to craftsy and from bitter to knitter. As much as I am a slave to live for graduate school, I’ve learned that, by itself, graduate school didn’t quite cut it. Here, I’ll take you through my own adventures in teaching my old self new pricks. I’ll review patterns, both knitting and sewing, explaining where I had trouble and how I jury-rigged epiphanically arrived at a solution. I’ll also suggest, for other beginners, books, tools, machines and other resources that I’ve found particularly helpful in my quest to acquire that elusive nirvana, seaminess. 

Which brings me to recent undertakings (in the most funerary sense): I’ve been working really hard to avoid working on my dissertation and crafts seem as good as any other way to procrastinate. Add to that effort a month-long residence at the cummings’ (I don’t want to offend e.e. with proper capitalization) former summer swamp  house, where, with no TV (though we do have access to two ATVs) and no company (Peter is too busy poring over alcohol recipes), I’ve resorted to cultivating (emphasis on cult) an interest in crafts. 

Tasked with finding my sister a sewing machine for her birthday (more on this later, as it would spoil the surprise if she read which machine we bought her), I, too, have taken up sewing. After all, I had to do all the research. For now, I’ll leave you with the pattern of the day, a photo of the lovely tote bag I constructed to test my sister’s wooly dog machine, and the random photo of the day (Siobhan's interpretation of East meets West, Bejing 2008). 

Bon sewoire, mes amis!