Happiness from tolerance.

From all our kin to all of yours.

Teacher's Pet (Peeves)

Today's student tip of the day:

Many students feel (erroneously) that some form of communication with the teacher is better than complete anonymity. I understand that this sort of thing works for people like Lauren Conrad, Amy Winehouse and Rush Limbaugh, but given that you probably don't stand to make several million dollars in libel lawsuits or from photos taken of you snorting coke with your kitten, negative attention in your case might actually result in a net loss.

When you send me emails that ask about course logistics, you are wasting a big, expensive resource (my brain). Instead, why not check that slick 13" silicone brain you insist on bringing to class? I know how consuming it is to watch Ashton Kutcher catching Hollywood intelligentsia off-guard by putting muffin tins in their underwear drawers, but that's why your laptop has multiple tabs on its browsers: so you can check the course website without missing the hilarity that ensues when Bruce Willis fumbles to strap a muffin tin to his backside.

When you do have a real question of substance, try to send it to me without making it clear that you're only interested in the correct answer (i.e., as opposed to the underlying concept). E.g., questions or issues prefaced with "I really want to understand..." or "I find it fascinating that" are better than "I really want a good grade." The following is an example of an excellent and relevant question:

"Dear Teacher,

I was recently reading the article you assigned on flying patterns of conchords. In the assigned questions, you asked us to describe body morphology that might affect flying speed. You listed as examples wingspan, torso length and sugalumps, but I can't find any information on sugalumps. Some brief research on the internet indicates that sugalumps only affect male conchords. Is your question about all conchords or just males? I am doing my honors project on the links between skin elasticity and flexibility and am fascinated by the constraints of morphology.

Thank you,

Student Etiquettious"

And here is an example of a bad question:

"yO. I don't get what U want from the Q on sugalumps. I need to get a good grade in this class so if you could explain it better, the question wouldn't be so badly worded."

Questions? Comments? OMG - I just saw that, too. His ass has muffin indents on it!! Hahahahaha!

I never want to leave you without a photo, so, speaking of interesting underwear, here is a recent photo of Vodka.

When it Rains, it Pours

It always starts like this. Three seeds must be thrust gently into a narrow opening. One must then cover up to avoid inseedsent exposure. Finally, one waits in eager anticipation for a sign of impending life. One repeats this as many times as stamina allows or until all of the available repositories have been impregnated (so to speak). I, a veritable Don Juan of seeding, have sown all 25 cavities shown below. Though I paid equal attention to all of my little seedlings, some nonetheless are reluctant to come out and show their true colors (a rainbow?). Notice that the lettuce seedlings (top), planted yesterday, have begun their upward adventure with only minimal stimulation. Their close cousins, the swiss chard (lower left), are also indiscriminate shooters. Interestingly, the brussels sprouts are unabashedly oxymoronic... The carrots and columbine also have yet to emerge.If you want to put the seed back in speed, best to avoid avocados. I've been germinating a seed in a plastic bag for about three weeks and it's only produced a skinny root and stumpy head (see below). As an aside, while many websites have indicated that one should place a punctured seed on stilts (e.g., toothpicks) in a half-glass of water, I have found it easier to place the seed in a plastic bag with a wet paper towel. I have a general affinity for wet towels, so maybe it's just me, but I'd recommend this technique for anyone trying to grow an avocado tree from seed.
His brother, for example, was started this way about a month ago, and is now burgeoning from a seedy, glorious hole. In related news, the garden is generally over-productive, which isn't surprising given my complete failure to heed spacing guidelines. Our first broccoli have been harvested, and slightly too late. It's supposed to be harvested when the head is somewhere between four and seven inches in diameter (that's what she said) and the little buds are all the same size (that's what Dre said). Ours have just begun to bolt (go to seed) as indicated by the lovely yellow spots interspersed in the green, though as far as I can tell, it has no effect whatsoever on flavor.

We thus have too many veggies. Moreover, the veggies I'd like to eat move to a different beet. Clearing of redundant greens has begun in anticipation of resplendent reds. Stay tuned. I've got to attend to the Moroccan stew that has claimed most of these as vicstems.

Stalled but not idle

Idle hands are the level's tools... That's right, in the nearly three months since last posting, we've been busy leveling the back yard and preparing ourselves for summertime sanctuary/ margarita madness.

This is a view of the new pathway, which leads to...
the new patio... and the new strawberry patch, which has passed HM's inspection...

and has made notable appearances on Seattle's Bee-list...

Lest our NW hippie friends protest, we have also started our very own edible garden, with peas, tomatoes, zucchini, broccoli, kale, lettuce, peppers, and cucumbers. Now all we need is a money tree to compensate for labor spent...

To the chopping block!

The garden is coming along, though in some ways it seems even more discombobulated than when we started (snort!). We have now moved into the back yard to begin work under the auspices of a new academic discipline: arboreal Darwinism. That's right - we choose trees according to aesthetic appeal and send the rest to the chopping block. In fact, the trees are often hacked using their own trunks as substrate. To me, this seems vaguely cannibalistic, but as I'm now on a list for having used the words "Darwinism, cannibalistic, and chopping block" in the same post, I'll have to saccharine this up to avoid penal detention, so here goes...

Morning shot of our back yard, before limb massage commenced:

The first tree put to rest - inducing supine state using gentle strokes:


These guys came in the morning to give an estimate and came back the same afternoon to begin beautification. The dude here was tickled to interact so intimately with the power lines during teticure.


This hawthorn was the largest the arborist had ever seen in Seattle. Its removal required extensive maneuvering. Armed with a 42'' dangling chainsaw, the barber pictured below set to work on the hawthorn's head. About an hour later, we were left with a glistening bald stump at which to marvel.

Naively, we opted to be left with the remains, which we have now been hacking up diligently for several hours. We've removed the hatchet from its resting place in order to put old Hawthorn to his.

To be continued...

Lord of the Mud Pies

As threatened, a post on our recent gardening adventures. We have attempted several times to clean up our yard. The largest effort occurred before we took off for a year in China. Naively, we reduced the rent in exchange for upkeep by the renters. Needless to say, upkeep didn't happen and we came back to a yard that was, perhaps, more unkempt than when we bought the place. 

Anyway, this represents one catalyst for a proper revamp of the necrotic plot. Spring's arrival further warrants an outdoor sanctuary. Moreover, as many of our associates are at some stage of child-bearing, we'll need to entertain ourselves and the occasional barren buddy or two. As it so happens, a favorite pastime of one celibate crony involves studying the natural history of raccoons while intoxicated (this is rather cerebral compared to a historical fondness for mattress surfing). The mead and amber are bubbling away in anticipation so it's on to seducing raccoons... 

Raccoon seduction requires professional guidance, which we have obtained. The garden design is quite alluring, even for non-Procyanids - it incorporates a number of local plants, a vegetable garden, a patio and, potentially, an herb spiral (welcome to the Northwest). The re-model is rather intensive, and will proceed slowly given other commitments, but the first stage has now been completed. This is the before photo of the South side yard: 

To begin, we hauled excess dirt, compost and mulch from the side yard into the back yard where we will use it to level the ground before laying the patio (lest we be sued by intoxicated natural historians). This involved a lot of digging and, because this is the space we have around the back staircase, 

a jury-rigged way of getting the dirt into the back yard: 

Digging and hauling have now been completed, and the roses and irises have been temporarily relocated. It's not an attractive pit, but the dirt now exposes 6" of the foundation, which is required by law. 

This will eventually be re-planted, but first the patio needs to be laid. In the mean time, Peter has laid claim to the South side plot,  having taken on the epithet, Lord of the Mud Pies. 

To be continued... 

Munch on this, quarter!

The quarter is basically over. Yes, I have to go to a meeting tomorrow morning, but I'm going on a Wooster-style bender tonight, and looking forward to a Jeeves-style hangover cure in the morning (hair of the dog, anyone?). In addition, my friend Anna has successfully defended her MA in Geography today - another reason to celebrate. Since I may have a spare hour or two in the next week, you might anticipate either photos of garden progress or a photo update from our most recent adventure across the country (both, if you're unlucky). In the mean time, this is approximately about how I feel about this quarter, in particular, stats. 

I got to write the first paper on my own data. Very preliminary, but vaguely satisfying, even if things didn't go quite as planned. A long way ahead, but hopefully over beautiful terrain.